My boyfriend has been working in the Middle East for 10 years. We don’t live together, but he is away for a month each time, and then for one month he returns home. I discovered he had a second mobile. He hid it well, but I went hunting because I suspected something. He tried to deny it at first but then admitted that he has another woman, and a 9 year old child! Now he says he will move permanently abroad. I gave up a lot for him when a lot of my family and friends warned me against him; I guess they were right.

Presumably this other woman did not know about you either? You are hurt now, and it will take a long time to get over the betrayal, but you know in your heart that you are better off without this man. It will be easier for you that he is in another country, so that you won’t have to see him again. Nurse your wounds for a while, and then look for some strength inside you to carry on with your life and find happiness again with someone more deserving.

I want to retire
My wife and I married late in life and have two young adult children. I should have retired from work two years ago. However the kids were younger and are even now still dependent on us. Now my employers have suggested I leave this year at 67 years of age, and I really do want to go. However, if I do this, the lifestyle the kids are used to will no longer be available to them. I am so tired though.

I assume you will be worse off financially when you retire. If your children don’t understand why life cannot be the same as before, you must sit them down, get your accounts out, and show them exactly how much money goes out of the house in terms of costs, and how much will now be coming in, in terms of your reduced income. Sacrifices will have to be made, and they should help towards running the household by working themselves and paying for their keep. If they want the luxuries they have been used to, they will have to pay for them themselves – it‘s as simple as that.