Dave, Dave, Dave. Just tell us what was in the package. Why don’t you want to? It’s not often a “jiffy bag” makes sporting headlines, we should make the most of it. Chris Froome, who has no grudge with Brailsford at all, has openly pondered why the contents of this jiffy bad still remain unknown and Sir Bradley Wiggins has retired, choosing to go on some celebrity reality show where everyone will soon forget about him. Great cover Brad, not that you need it of course.

 

Someone who never had his sporting ethics called into question is Sir Mo Farah. He is also pondering a few things via the medium of the British press. Sir Mo wants answers, and the question is “why didn’t I win Sports Personality of the Year?” I can understand anyone losing a title that has the world “personality” in it to Andy Murray being bitter, but let us look at the facts. Murray is a British tennis player that wins things. That doesn’t happen to British tennis players very often. Brilliant middle distance runners? Well, we knocked them out quite a lot in the times where British tennis hopes rested on Jeremy Bates for crying out loud. That’s why Mo, that’s why. And, frankly, it’s a popularity vote and Wimbledon will always be more popular than watching someone run round a track several times.

 

Speaking of Sir Andy Murray, and this column is becoming worryingly like the House of Lords, he has started 2017 in the way some of us cynics suspected he might. Losing to Novak Djokovic. Enjoy it whilst it lasts Muzza, Novak wants the Number One spot back. At least you got your Knighthood, they can’t take that away.

 

Alastair Cook was not knighted in the New Year’s Honours list, and following England’s disappointing tour of India it is not surprising. Cook will chat to Strauss sometime soon to discuss whether it is time for him to hand over the captaincy of the England cricket team. Even cricket has changed. I remember when the press used to hound out a captain they didn’t want anymore. Beefy, Gower, Gatt, even Chris Cowdrey, didn’t get the chance to sit down with their boss and discuss it amicably. No, they were sacked mid series which, clearly, was much more fun to watch. Bring back 1980’s cricket, please. I want to see the West Indies getting the ball to fly past the nose of an unhelmeted batsman. I want to see the Aussies being the Aussies and I want England to back to being the circus act they once were.